


The First Step To Forgiveness

by 3arlgr3yt3a



Series: Let's just go ahead and rewrite this whole scene a bit more... Supercorp-y. [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, Kara Danvers Doesn't Know that Lena Luthor Knows, Kara Danvers Tells Lena Luthor About Being Supergirl, Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor in Love, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Lena Wants To Forgive Kara, Light Angst, Post-Canon, Set After Season 4 Finale, She is Going To Try, SuperCorp, The Reveal Everyone Wanted, canon until it's not, she's trying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 18:50:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20894435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3arlgr3yt3a/pseuds/3arlgr3yt3a
Summary: The First Step To Forgiveness.After Lena finds out Kara is Supergirl she's devastated. Going to the game night and pretending like everything's fine is one of the hardest things she's done, especially when her best friend is sitting there and it's so blatantly obvious that her and Supergirl are one and the same.When Kara tells Alex she has to tell Lena, she ignores Alex's advice to let her enjoy the night. It's now or never.Finally, back at Kara's place, she tells Lena everything. It's painful and it's ugly, but it's a happy ending. It's the reveal I'm positive everyone secretly wants.(You guys are going to have to make me a Supergirl Screenwriter because then we'd all be happy.)





	The First Step To Forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I haven’t seen season 4 yet, it's not on Netflix and that’s all I have, but desperate for the final Supercorp scene I watched the finale on Youtube. So please excuse my vagueness.

After all the unusualness over the past few weeks, Kara is thoroughly exhausted. So, so tired of the hecticness in the life of being Supergirl, game night with her friends is the most welcome relief. And honestly, she’s mainly looking forward to seeing Lena again. She needs her best friend. 

As they finish up another round of their current game, everyone grumbling at Brainy’s sudden and intense victories, the door opens, bringing none other than Lena Luthor through the door as if Kara’s thoughts had called her aloud. Looking up with a brilliant smile on her face, her joy melts away any previous stress at the mere presence of her friend.“Lena! Where’ve you been?” Kara calls.

There’s a hesitation but Lena finally returns Kara’s smile. But she doesn’t fail to notice it’s tinged with tension, if a bit strained. She must too, be exhausted. Lifting up a bottle of amber liquid she says, “I didn’t know what to bring so I brought red and white.” She makes herself comfortable in the living room, politely greeting everyone, but Kara can sense the…  _ offness  _ of her air. As they bicker about J’onn dividing up the teams, Kara perhaps the root of the complaints asks Lena, “But uh, you’re with me, right?”

“Always,” Comes her quiet, immediate reply.

Getting up, Kara goes to the kitchen to get another drink and finds Alex has followed. “Hey you’re not upset that Brainy is just killing it with this game right? ‘Cause you know we’re gonna take him down!”

“Uh, we’re gonna cream him.”

“Yeah!”

“But, no I’m…. I’m worried about Lena.” And suddenly all the emotion of years of hiding her massive secret from her best friend lines Kara’s rushed words: “I have to tell her the truth, I can’t keep it from her anymore.”

Alex’s expression is dubious. “Lena’s been through hell, and we’ve finally reached a place where it feels kind of normal... so maybe just let her enjoy the evening before you take it all away?”

Kara admits that Alex makes a good point, but Kara has to. After years of stepping down and shying away from what’s inevitable, Kara finally has the courage to do what’s right. “You’re right.” She touches her shoulder and they return to the excitement of the night.

After an evening of long needed laughing, and losing to Brainy, and cheering, and pouting the evening finally winds down. As everyone’s pulling on coats, ready to go, Kara goes to where Lena busies herself at the door, quiet, as if trying to slip out.

“Hey. Lena,” she reaches to touch her arm gently. 

Turning to Kara, she forces another smile, “Hey.”

“Are you-- are you okay? I know it’s been… hell, and obviously how could you be after everything, but... I just wanna make sure. You know if you need anything I’m always here?”

Lena tightly turns to face Kara. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be o-kay, but, hey I’m a Luthor. We surge through.” She shrugs and Kara’s heart breaks for her friend, who deserves nothing but happiness and at the very least, honesty. Kara’s. 

She holds out her arms and gathers Lena into a hug, but unlike every other, it’s stiff and quickly Kara releases, feeling as though she should’ve asked first.

“Hey um, there’s something I need to talk to you about, would you- would you mind coming over for some, I don’t know, tea? To settle the wine?”

Lena’s eyes flicker with something, but before Kara can pinpoint it, she’s turned away, picking up her bag. “Look Kara, I’m- I’m tired. Maybe another time?” She still isn’t looking at her. Any other time, Kara would respect Lena and nod and back off, but not now. She needs to tell Lena and most of all, she doesn’t think Lena should be alone. She’s hurting too much. Kara’s conviction at telling her tonight is suddenly wavering. But either way, Lena has to agree to company.

“I know. I… can’t even imagine. But please, Lena.” 

Kara’s eyes plead, and finally, Lena can’t decline again without being blatantly rude. So she nods stiffly. “Fine. But only for an hour or so, I really must be getting home.”

Kara's heart squeezes painfully a tiny bit at Lena’s acceptance only because of obligation, and not because they’re friends who enjoy spending time with each other, she smiles in ‘thank you’ and opens the door to let them out. Waving and calling goodbyes to everyone, she catches Alex’s eyes, alight with warning, but she ignores her and turns to follow Lena.

The ride to her apartment is quiet and uncomfortable, unusual for them, but Kara lets it be; lets Lena have her quiet that she evidently needs.

Letting them in to her apartment, familiar to Lena, Kara sets about putting the kettle on and has tea made within minutes. Lena’s settled herself on Kara’s couch, but everything about her forced relaxed posture rings Kara’s alarm bells. She shouldn’t be telling Lena now, of all times, but she has to. 

Giving her the tea, Kara settles down across from her but not relaxing back into armrest. She takes a deep breath and steadies herself, not bothering with idle chat before.

“Kara?” Lena’s voice is unusually cold and emotionless. None of the normal affection towards Kara can be found and Kara’s panic races. 

Another breath. Stopping her eyes from boring holes into her tea, she looks up at Lena and decides it is now or freaking never. 

“Lena, I have something to tell you, and you’re not going to like it; you’re probably going to hate me for it, but I need you to listen until I’ve finished and not say anything until I’m done. Please,” Kara pleads and just barely stops the tears lining her hot, stinging eyes from falling. 

Lena’s expression still remains blank and she just nods, almost imperceptibly pursing her lips in a promise of silence. Kara doesn’t understand the lack of emotion, but chooses to dwell on it after all is said and done. Her mind scrambles for the right words, where to start, how on earth to get this out without destroying absolutely everything they have as friends.

“You once told me that you appreciate the fact that I’ve always been honest with you, that you could trust me. That day, I wanted to get down on my knees in front of you and tell you how misplaced that is. Because there’s something I haven’t been honest with you about, Lena. Something I haven’t been able to tell you because of, because of so many reasons. My idiocy being the root of it all.” Kara looks down and tears are now streaming down her cheeks and she does nothing to stop them. “I just, I loved being your friend, Lena. I loved that more than with anyone else in the world, I could be me when I’m with you. You loved me for just me and nothing else, you looked at me differently. Like I- like I could change the world by just being a measly reporter with my social awkwardness and dorky cardigans. And next to you, this powerful, strong, brilliantly intelligent, and… fucking amazing woman, I’m not really anything- I hardly measure up, but that didn’t matter to you.” 

She can’t believe she’s swearing, but she needs to convey how serious she is and she seems to swear in moments where her life depends on it. She looks up at Lena now and her knuckles are white around her mug. She can see her eyes are burning with the threat of tears too. “And that? That is… amazing. And it’s something no one else has ever given me.

“You once told me you are just trying to make a name for yourself outside of your family name, because everyone has always ever seen you as a Luthor and I told you I understood that-- because that’s how I feel. Just as I see you as who you are, as  _ Lena;  _ with your incredibly kind heart, your hope for making this world better, your  _ goodness?  _ That’s how I wanted you to see me. As  _ Kara.  _ Not as... Supergirl.” The words are finally out, and with a shuddering breath, Kara slips her glasses off. Pulling her hair out of her ponytail, she shakes it free, and gingerly raises her head to meet Lena’s gaze. 

Kara expects a gasp from Lena; maybe a bitter laugh. But she doesn’t expect a tear to finally slip from Lena’s eye, the only flicker of movement in a cold, hard expression. There is no surprise, no shock. 

And suddenly Kara feels like flinging herself into the sun. Lena already knows?

She loathes with every fibre of her being the fact that Lena hasn’t heard it for the first time straight from Kara’s mouth, that she’d found out some other way. Maybe telling Lena herself would have left a fraction of space for forgiveness. 

But little does she know, the way Lena had found out, is in a way where the knife laced with cold, stinging cruelty had been plunged in, only to be twisted in further with words only slightly short of lies. 

“Not only because what we had meant more to me than anything else has on my time on this earth, but because I wanted to protect you. If people know who I am, that immediately puts anyone I care about in danger.” Her voice suddenly grows quiet and meek and she can barely get it out as a whisper. “And if anything ever happened to you, I’d strip myself of my powers and hurt myself as much as I could, knowing I was the cause of that. And because I’m selfish.” 

Lena just lets Kara cry for a few minutes, sticking to her word of silence until Kara is truly finished and she doesn’t think she is. She offers no consolation, no forgiveness, no shock, not even anger although it boils and simmers beneath her skin.

Finally, choking back her sob, Kara gasps out her name, having more to say still. “Lena, I know how much loyalty means to you. I know you’ve been betrayed and hurt so many times. I know how utterly painful betrayal is to you. And it’s exactly what I’ve done. So, so many times before. And I can never forgive myself for hurting you. I can’t ever say sorry enough, Lena.” She’s now fully sobbing. She has never cried in front of anyone, besides a tear or two with Alex. But never this shattering of herself.

After minutes of breathless gasping, wiping at her nose, and overall utter embarrassment which Kara has no capacity to care less about, she finally finds her voice, but barely. “And what makes everything so much fucking worse is that I’m so in love with you.” 

Kara isn’t even sure she’d said the words out loud or only thought them. Isn’t sure Lena even heard them.

But she knows she did as the impact across her cheek sends her head careening to the side. She wishes she could feel the sting of the slap, wishes that Lena could inflict the pain Kara so deserves. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so… so sorry.”

Having drained her cup of tea, Lena hurls the mug at the wall behind Kara’s head, intentionally missing in spite of her justified rage. It shatters and falls to the floor in scattering shards; the sound deafening to Kara’s ears, and they ring for a while later. Kara can’t help the image of not her favourite mug she’d gotten from Alex three Christmas’s ago breaking against her wall, but her own heart.

She just can't stop crying. For the girl of steel, she’s pretty pathetic sitting in front of her best friend on a couch where they’d cuddled up under a single blanket with a bottle of wine and watched a movie months ago.

When she’s finally brave enough to lift her eyes again, Kara finds Lena settled back on her end of the couch, one leg tucked underneath her, and finally shock has taken up residence across her sharp and beautiful features. 

“Say something Lena.”

It is a long time before Lena can find anything to say. But when she does, she’s able to get a hold on every emotion churning inside and her voice is low and steady.

“Fuck you, Kara.” 

She’s never heard Lena swear before. Never thought crude words could fall from such elegant lips. But then again, did people think such crude words could come from her innocent face? 

Kara can only nod, absorbing the sting that the words inflict on her heart. At least she isn’t fully immune to pain; her heart can still be bruised and shredded all Lena liked, and she’d let her.

“How could you say that, Kara?  _ How?  _ How  _ dare  _ you, frankly.”

“I- I…”

“No, now it’s my turn.” She snaps and Kara steadies herself for the words she knows are inevitable. “You lied to me. For so long. Every time we spoke about Supergirl, when I came knocking on your door asking for you to put me in contact with Supergirl, you kept up the lie. Thinking back, you slipped up a few times and I was too stupid to notice. In every single moment, you kept playing me like the fool I am. Intelligent? Me? Really, Kara, you were mocking me the whole time. How many other people know?”

Kara’s face burns with shame.

“How many, Kara?”

“Pretty much everyone,” she says weakly.

Lena only looks out at Kara’s apartment though not really seeing and releases that bitter laugh at last. “Pretty much everyone but me.”

“Everyone found out on their own, I never chose to tell them,” Kara begs as if that could make a difference.

“And I was too stupid to find out for myself.”

“No, Lena. Oh, Lena you are the farthest thing from stupid.”

“Yeah? I feel pretty idiotic now, Kara. How could I not have seen? My best friend, every time we had lunch together, every time we were in the same room. How did a bun and glasses make me out to be such a fool?”

“You didn’t want to see?” Kara suggests, not really knowing herself how she hadn’t seen, when Cat, in similar interactions with Supergirl as Lena, had seen right through her disguise.

“But why not?” Kara doesn’t have an answer, but the fact that Lena and her are having an actual, real conversation almost makes her want to get on her knees and thank Lena with everything she has.

“I don’t know.”

It is a long moment before they speak again. The tears Lena had been holding back, now spill out and rather than pooling in anger, it seems it is only sadness now. Lena looks so small, so fragile sitting there on Kara’s couch; slouched over in defeat-so, so very unlike Lena Luthor. The urge to go and hug her is overwhelming, and just hold her, like she’d done many times before.

She gives in. “Can I- can I hug you? Would that be okay- do you want me to?”

And despite it all, despite the ever-sensitive bruise of betrayal in Lena’s life, this is her best friend. Whose lies don't outweigh all the many times she’d been there for Lena, whether she deserved it or not. Maybe they’re both still paying for wrongs in their lives. But either way, Kara’s lies don’t change who she is at heart. Who, as Kara had said, Lena knows her to be.

She nods meekly, but stops Kara when she begins to shift closer. “Wait. First I need you to clarify something.” And now it’s Lena being honest and fragile. 

“Anything.”

“When- when I found you out, I’d gone after Lex. I- I killed him.” She soldiers on, not wanting Kara’s sympathy or pity or whatever she thinks to give. “But as he lay there dying, he told me how fully I’d been betrayed. By all my friends, by you. He showed me a video of you as… Kara, burning down pictures of us. What- what did that mean? Did you do that?”

Kara sucks in a breath, finally seeing the full picture from Lena’s perspective. She is going to dig Lex out of his grave and kill him again. Why did he want to hurt Lena so badly?  _ Lena.  _

__

“Oh, Lena. I would never. It was the Red Daughter. I don’t know where that was or why she had them, but I would never.”

__

Lena nods. A small, minuscule weight lifting off her shoulders. In the pain of the moment, she’d believed her eyes, but all along she didn’t think her heart could ever believe Kara could turn so fully. Everything they’ve had between them for years, is evidence.

__

Hesitantly, Kara shifts closer. Tucking her legs underneath her, she is able to set her chin atop Lena’s head as she holds her close.

__

They stay like that for what felt like a series of infinite moments. And with all the brokenness of the situation, of their hearts, Kara feels like it’s right. With Lena in her arms; comforting each other when they’re both at their lowest. Just being… together. 

__

Kara aches with the need for Lena to say something about the huge confession she made after the lesser one of being Supergirl. She truly hadn’t intended to tell Lena that, and perhaps, before the words even left her lips she hadn’t actually stopped to admit it to herself. But she realizes how true it is.

__

She is absolutely, entirely in love with her best friend. 

__

She thinks of Lena’s laugh. Her full smile that shows her gums whenever she has reason to smile that wide. Her laugh. The way she talked about quantum entanglement and all sorts of other scientific things that proved how intelligent Lena is and how utterly lost Kara is when it comes to those things. Lena’s goodness, and her heart. That when she’d been liable to have been the cause of the lead poisonings, she had been absolutely shattered and broken. She’d stepped down from L-Corp and CatCo just because of how sincere and good she is.

__

Kara lets her thoughts run, endless in their chase after every incredible thing Lena Luthor is. 

__

As if her thoughts could be heard through the beating of her heart behind Lena’s shoulder, Lena turns, scooting back so she can face Kara. “I’m sorry- for slapping you. That was unrefined. It wasn’t the best time to admit something like that though, you must see that?”

__

Kara looks to her hands again, her ears burning. “I’m sorry,” she says for the thousandth time, it feels like. She sees peripherally as Lena lifts her hand, only hesitating a moment, to cover Kara’s. “Lena… I know we were best friends and it’s hardly proper for me to feel this way; but if I’m going to be honest with you about everything from now on then you should know. If it makes things awkward then just forget I said anything, I don’t want it to come between us as friends. If- if we are still friends.”

__

“Oh Kara. It… hurts. I’m hurting right now, obviously. Who wouldn’t be? But as much as you lying to me is wrong, and as stupid as I feel, and  _ angry,  _ I know your heart...” Lena draws a long, deep breath, and Kara can hear the slight tremor in it. “And I don’t think I could ever lose you.” She finishes quietly.

__

Kara can’t breathe and in the time where words fail her, she can hear Lena’s heart beating. The little flutter in it as it picks up, just fractionally. She can’t believe her ears at what her dumb mind assumes it means.

__

Lena is looking at Kara, really looking. And Kara at her. She puzzles at the depth in those green eyes, trying desperately to unravel what it all means. What everything that makes Lena who she is, means.

__

Lena at last opens her mouth, on the verge of saying something by the hitch in her breathing that all humans have despite themselves. When she does, it’s hardly even a whisper of breath. “I… love you too, Kara. In a much bigger way than just friendship.”

__

Stunned, Kara can only open her mouth, close it, open it again; knowing she probably looks like a fish. She silently curses her awkwardness.

__

Lena relieves her by continuing, getting her confidence back. “And I don’t quite know what that means. Especially now. Forgiveness is hard. I want to forgive you, I do. But I’m having trouble doing that right now. I think I’ve known for a while the extent of what you mean to me, but I haven’t really thought to follow through, to tell you. Your friendship is enough for me. But I think we can try. To patch this up, I can forgive you. I love you, Kara. Despite how angry I still am, I appreciate you finally telling me on your own accord. No one else got that. It’s a big secret and I think I can learn to understand why you did what you did.”

__

Kara’s cheeks are lined with tears again, gently rolling down, as she is absolutely and utterly overwhelmed by the woman that Lena is. Kara doesn’t deserve it, but Lena is trying to understand, trying to give Kara a second chance. She is  _ trying.  _

__

“You’re not giving up.” She whispers, marveling, having to speak the words aloud to believe them.

__

Tentatively, Lena lifts a hand to thumb away the tears. Kara only cries harder at the gentleness she is being shown. Despite it all.  _ Despite despite despite.  _

__

“You’ve never given up on this Luthor.”

__

“Thank you.” She finally manages, pure relief lining every molecule in her breath. Lifting their hands, she touches Lena’s to her forehead, pressing it there. Lowering it, she brings it to her lips and kisses the pale, creamy, beautiful skin stretched across her knuckles. “Thank you.” 

__

Lifting her hand not held, Lena places it on Kara’s cheek and the tenderness of the gesture threatens to tear her apart. 

__

Before Kara can fully comprehend what is happening until it does, Lena leans forward, ever so slowly, and presses the most gentle kiss to Kara’s lips she’s ever experienced in her lifetime. It’s featherlight and fleeting, but it’s an infinite second that Kara is convinced she can drown in forever.

__

As she pulls away, their hands still holding tightly to one another, Kara knows that it’s a promise. The first step to forgiveness. And it’s more than she could ever have dreamed of asking for.

__

They are going to be okay.

__


End file.
